I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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