I CAN MOONWALK!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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