Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
