y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
