This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
