Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
