Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
