Will you blow on my dice?
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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