Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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