I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
