Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
