hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Randomize
