who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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