idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
