I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
