Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
