if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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