I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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