you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
