I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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