Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Randomize