My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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