I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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