i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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