how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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