i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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