never play flip cup with pint glasses
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She bit a glass in half.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
