I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
