my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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