i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize