we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
