he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
