The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
