this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
