you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
