all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
