careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
my sisters under your porch take her home
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
