I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
