Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
