That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
