new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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