Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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