there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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