she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
