You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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