So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
