I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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