He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize