i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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