Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I didn't notice because vodka
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
