Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize