I think my fart just growled at me.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
