Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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