White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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