I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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