Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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