Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
