His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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