shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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