I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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