The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
