he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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