you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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